he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize