i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize