I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize