My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I FOUND THE LEGS
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize