Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
