found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
