what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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