12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
