Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
