Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
someone owes me an orgasm
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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