i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
