i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize