They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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