So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
