RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
