my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
