I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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