If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
