No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
