Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
