So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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