dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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