dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
