just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You are a genius and a whore.
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