There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
