It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm always down for nudity.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
