I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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