Are we in a gay sports bar?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
