is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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