Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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