In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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