well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's the barista slut.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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