It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
