Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
