belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
