OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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