If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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