I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
