I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
