I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
