Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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