Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
