i jhust puked up my retainher.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Everything about him screamed your future.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
