So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
