So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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