Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
