Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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