with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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