i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
