Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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