Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well I just put wine in my tea
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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