you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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