i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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