I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
