: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
