Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't think brook has ever known best
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My dick has a subreddit
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
