The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
