He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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