You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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