Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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